Changes?

Yesterday, a friend and fellow PCV asked me if I felt I was at the point where I could see how my Peace Corps service has changed me. What an interesting question to reflect upon at this point in my service.

My initial response is, I know my service is changing me but I'm reluctant to try to define how just yet. This experience has been the hardest, most engaging, most frustrating and most overwhelming I've had. Just when I think I am starting to know what is going on around me, another layer of the onion exposes itself and I feel as bewildered, unprepared and stunned as the day I arrived in the village. There are parts of Zambian culture, society and daily living that I think will always be a mystery to me. I suppose there is a superstitious part of me that feels if I try to define or pinpoint anything, it is tempting fate and the powers that be to turn my definition upside-down. To quote an old boss, fate will “topsy-turvy that sh*!.”

In my day-to-day life, I am consumed with trying to keep up with living and accomplishing small, short-term goals, like cooking meals, laundry, keeping snakes out, keeping the water filters full, reaching out to and teaching farmers, neighbors, mothers and children in our community and following up on programs. It's been very hard to step back and gain perspective on this experience while in the midst of it.

However, that is not to say it is without generous reward and education. I am learning every day, every hour perhaps, things that would be impossible for me to understand by just reading a book or taking a university course, speaking with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer, or living in the U.S., Europe, an African capital city.

In the future, I hope to pinpoint just exactly what these deep lessons have been. For now, my goal is to photograph and write down every memory I can- to share this journey with friends and loved ones back home, enrich their understanding of a distant land and culture, and help develop a sophisticated understanding of just what the heck this journey has encompassed.